Energy bills: a mess made by guess who, now £130 less bad
Let us review the case file. WHO designed a billing system where you pay 29p a day for gas you didn't use? WHO loaded the green levies onto electricity so the clean option cost more? Don't answer. We know. We have always known.
Now a new male prime minister proposes to un-knot the previous male prime ministers' knots, using a plan he did not write, at a cost of £3.2bn a year. This is what male management calls 'radical': fixing the thing you broke, slowly, for applause.
Credit where due: the plan would cut bills for 84% of the poorest households and wipe 2 million families' electricity debts. Notice it took a thinktank spreadsheet to discover compassion. Notice WHO was holding the spreadsheet the whole time. A woman could have run this grid off a laminated binder and a Sunday afternoon.
The £130 will be accepted as evidence of partial competence. The committee remains unimpressed but notes the effort, the way one notes a toddler using a fork. That is all. Dismissed.